pfffffffffffffft

The cool thing to do, is post how terrible you look in the morning. Except for the fact that my hair is always a mess so I guess that doesn't change much. I have this huge scratch on the inside of my arm. I don't remember scratching that hard last night. I don't have bedbugs either, I checked. That doesn't change the fact that I'm itchy as fuck. Everyone says "oh its just dry skin because of the cold weather." Welllll...I wish. I have all these little bites on my skin. No matter what I do, the itchies don't go away. My head is itchy too and my hair keeps falling out in little strands. Motherfuck.

I have gym today..well strength and conditioning..and I know that motherfuck of a professor is going to be a dink again. You see, my heart is too big for my body and my body shakes as if I'm an old lady. Can't you give me a break for like ONE SECOND. I know I'm not in shape,  but jumping on those friggen boxes ain't gonna do shit for me. After that I have economics. Aka the most boring class in the whole world. I can barely stay awake during that class. But then I don't have the next class because instead I get to go to gallery 51 for the opening (which is cool). I'm not being sarcastic. I just don't want to walk down there. Hopefully I can make someone give me a ride. 

Uh what else? 

It's kinda nice out. Not really though. Still in the 30's, but the suns out. I got sidetracked from talking on the phone so I'm going to end this now.

xx

chips ahoy!

That's me. Right this minute. I just had some cashews for breakfast and I wish I had an abundance of them. They were quite delicious. I also wish I had a fountain soda. I could go to the cafeteria and get one but that involves me putting on a coat and trudging through the cold to be charged way more than 89 cents. 


I'd also like a smoke, but that also involves me sitting outside in the cold. Although I had TWO pall mall 100's last night, because myself and Chrystina decided to stand outside in the cold and smoke together. She's cool so it was cool. 


I have class today from 2-5. Totally not looking forward to sitting there for three hours in a crowded little room with people that I don't even know. Granted I've had a crap ton of classes with most of them, that doesn't mean that I know anything about them / feel comfortable talking about the fact that I FEEL CROWDED IN THAT ROOM AND DON'T ENJOY IT. excuse the caps. Actually don't, I meant for them to be there. 


I'm itchy. All over my body except in the place where you probably think I'm talking about. No, not my butt. 

Amesoeurs - Faiblesse Des Sens 

I can't really get sick of that song because A.) It's awesome and B.) I don't speak french so I really have no idea what they are saying. So that makes it okay to listen to it approx. 1,000 times a day. Though I'm not sure if that's possible. It could be though.  

Okay baiiiii (ew) bye. 

xx 

blah blah blah

My mom and I decided that talking on skype would be cool. It actually is pretty cool because I get to have dinner with my family, talk to my nana, and see Rosie. That's my signature pose by the way, though not everything is two thumbs up. Let's see what else I can find for pictures before I start blabbing on about something not interesting. 

This would be me trying to talk to my dog on skype. I miss her terribly. For all of you that are going to stalk me on skype, go ahead, because I never go on. Aka weird people than randomly find me on there and send me messages saying that I seem cool even though it doesn't say anything about me on there. Hm. 

I also like goats a lot. Especially ones with beards. There was also a pig there named rosie. It was very exciting. 

I was trying to show my mom how to use the webcam, or how to take pictures of herself. She decided she needed to get facebook and that we needed to be friends. We aren't though. I thought this was a good picture, even though her eyes are a little funky and I think she was about to laugh. 

---

As for everything else, I had a pretty uneventful weekend. Unless you count taking the vomit-filled bag out of the trash can just to replace it with another bag to later be vomited in again. No one really wants to deal with things alone when they are sick, they want people to do things for them when they really don't feel like moving. So I took care of Blake while he was sick, and then I played sims3 during the hour(s) he was asleep. 

What else did I do this weekend? I cried. That's normal though. I played fallout3 even though I usually get bored. I'm level 28 on one of them and level 6 on another. I get bored of the same things. I just want to get all the damn trophies god damnit. I thought about playing Heavy Rain but then I decided I was too lazy. I thought about playing Little Big Planet too. However, I think I'm gonna trade that game in because I'm sick of it now. 

Other news? Hm. I watched a lot of anime movies. I watched Ninja Scroll and Final Fantasy (whatever number it was) and some other movie that I forget the name of. I didn't watch all of that one though. 

It was that one by the way. I had to upload the picture to remember what it was called. That movie is fantastic, and I'm totally going to watch it while Blake is at work sometime. The detail in that movie is amazing! Yadda Yadda. I still love Totoro though, and Ponyo. Those movies are great. I like Princess Mononoke too. Listen to me, I sound like an anime nerd. It's okay though, anime is pretty awesome. I want anime hair. 

Umm. 

I got four things of dippers today. Apple and Carrot dippers and I ate them all. Damnit, I wish I had them now. Except I hate the skin on the apples, and I feel like the ranch dressing for the carrots is fake and that it's going to kill me or something. Hooray for crazy phobias that aren't really phobias. 

Apparently I feel like typing up a storm today. Probably because I haven't written in a while. 

Going from smoking Newports to smoking Pall Mall's is like.. the biggest letdown. First of all, yeah yeah, I know they last longer and everything, but thats the problem. It's too damn cold outside to smoke one and it's super hard to inhale. It's like trying to suck an oreo up a straw or something rediculous. It's even worse when they are 100's, and yes that's what they are. I still appreciate the person who bought them for me. It's the thought that counts. Granted, I shouldn't be smoking. Ugh. I told myself I never would and here I am. 

End story here. 

xx

fuck your face.

This is what is going on for me on Friday. Going to be totally awesome. If anyone in the Berkshires views this, go to it. It's going to be sweet. 
----Other than that. I'm going to Blake's for the weekend. He's picking me up after class today, so that should be good. I'll get to play Heavy Rain and Fallout. Sweet! I'm pumped. Class isn't until 1230, so I might as well get all my sheiiit together before then. Perhaps I'll go get something to eat for lunch as well. Who knows. 


I had a lot more to talk about in this, but ya know, it's just not worth it sometimes. "Let's view her blog so that we can laugh at what she has to say," maybe that's what you are going to say. Some people won't ever change, and I guess I needed a second change to find that out. 


The temperature thing on my computer has said that it is 36 degrees out, but it also said that last night and it totally was not. Perhaps it will be right today. The sun is out, and maybe some of that ice outside my window will melt. I guess we are supposed to get more snow on saturday, so it won't last for long. Actually, it might be on friday. I don't know, I won't be here. 


I'm still a grump.


xx

repetition. repetition.

There's a spell check on this motherfuck? How lovely. 

Hooray for changing the color of my lettahs. I'm listening to Paramore, on repeat. I'm a super grump right now. I hate facebook, I hate how everyone relies on it, talks about it, uses it for their super important connection. I hate how its filled with drama. I'd like to punch a whole lot of faces through the computer screen. That would be nice. I wouldn't make it anonymous though. It would be like a poke. Instead it would be "you've been punched by ashley mason." aha!

I like pictures a lot. Can't you tell? I also like to sleep without dreaming, but that never happens. I'm bored of this post. I'm too grumpy for posting.

xx

i have to pee.

Maybe it's just me, but sometimes I hate having to get up to pee. I wish that I could just pee where I'm sitting, but trying to pee in your pants is very hard. Also, I don't want my seat to be wet and I don't want to smell of urine. I'm just crazy.

I just went to most of the Jazz and Funk Festival, and it was pretty awesome. Papa Grows Funk is rad, listen to them if you have the chance. If you don't have the chance, make time. It's totally worth it. 

Other than that. I now get to wait like...3.5 hours until Blake comes and gets me. I feel bad, I wish I had a car so that I could just drive there. It would be lots easier, and I could sing in the car without feeling weird. Where's Elsa when I need her? Oh yeah, in England. 

Hm. There's nothing to do. I just listened to Immortal and now I'm listening to Gorgoroth. Blake would be proud. I want to find that Burzum song but I forget what It's called. Immortal is playing in New York soon, that'd be cool to go. Not that I know any of their songs, but the experience would be sweet. Okay I know I know, picturesss.

 I used to have red hair, and I miss it.

ray vincent photography. 

i like blood.

xx

today, i need to stay awake. if blake is going to come and get me after work I need to be awake until then. It will probably be at like 1, and you'd think a 22 year old could stay up that late (or early) but not for me. If I don't take them pills before a certain time, I start to lose my mind much worse than I've already lost it. Perhaps I'm addicted to them, but as far as I know, they make me feel better than I usually feel so I'll stick with them. On the other hand, if I do take them, I will fall asleep. Then if he came and picked me up I wouldn't even know because I wouldnt hear his call or text because there's no service down here. 


Other than that. The Jazz and Funk Festival is tonight at school, and I wouldn't go normally but I have to for a class. It sucks because I don't even have to be here on Friday. "But you can go and have a good time and hang out with people," anyone else would say. Yeah, but you see, I don't care about these people. I don't know these people. I don't want to know these people. I'm not a negative person, but am I going to be "friends at school" and then leave and never see them again? Yeah. It sounds a lot like home. I like to not think about that though, because whenever I do, it just pisses me off. Try to explain that to someone who feels like they did nothing wrong, it's impossible. 

I kinda want to put the two beds together and call it a day, but then what will I do with my desk? Hm. Maybe I'll do that today. Maybe I won't. Fuck if I know. I'm contemplating drinking the Red Bull in my fridge that I've had for quite a long time now. I'm also tired as fuck and have to go to Venable at 5 and then again at 7-10. Lame. I also don't want to do anything. I also want to disappear.

phuck yew.

who seriously doesn't like big font?! not me. i like pictures though, and i like posting pictures in this blog because it's fun. 
it's also 9 god damn degrees out but i guess i can't expect much more from new england. also, i hate you guys. 

this is rosie, you will see her a lot because i love her to bits. she is my lifeline thank you very much.

 I like to post pictures of times when I remember being happy. I love this picture.

 Everyone decided that green was the cool color to put in your hair, but I got the poop green color and it ended up looking like seaweed and I hated it. I dyed my hair a different color in less than a week.

People on rawks and stuff. 


                                           I just helped set up for the Jazz and Funk Festival, which was pretty awesome. It was really cool being able to set up the sound for a show, it pumped me up. I think I was the only one actually enjoying it, but that's cool with me. Now back to listening to

Amesoeurs

because i've been listening to the same song for a while now and i am completely okay with that. 

 

xx 

Humeurs instables inavouées, Faiblesse des sens et frustration Etouffant la conscience. Je m'écoeure.

Amesoeurs = great band.

i feel like typing large right now. 

                     I wrote to Equal Vision for an internship and they said they could probably do that. It will most likely happen in the fall or in the summer depending on how things go. Hopefully I can get a job in New York and never have to return home. That would be lovely. There's nothing there for me anymore, except Rosie. I would just have to bring her with me. 

                                     Anyone and everyone should listen to that band, granted unless you speak french you probably won't know what they are saying but it's okay because I don't either. 

 

Oh yeah, did I mention I really don't want anything to do with any of you anymore? It's hard to feel like someone gives a shit about you when they can't even make time to see you. When they constantly lie to your face and then try and say it never happened when they were with you. I just turn my back on all of it because it doesn't matter anymore. I don't regret any of the times I had with you, because they were wonderful. Now, I just have to move on with my life, because nothing lasts forever, and people won't always be there for you. 

xx

 

p.s my photoshoot pics came back but i'm not posting them because they are NSFW lawl.

i guess there's more to this, because I like pictures & I want more pictures in this. 

 i like clouds, a lot. 
 

 I like my pink hair, and i smoked then. shit. i still smoke. 

my best friend. the only person i have ever learned to trust. the only person who will stay by my side through everything. i love you.

                         those were the days